chicating: I have a new dragon (Default)
(another CP I am learning too much about, being me)
Went to Big Box bookstore to hang out in the cafe, like that was the whole point of why I went, but the cafe was closed--to sit in--I still bought a muffin and Actual Mom got cheesecake with Oreo. I bought two books of women's fiction I don't really need because I have hundreds of books already, but they are Liane Moriarty and Anna Quindlen so not even *that* shallow, though I like to look good to the black guy who waits on us in there for some reason(I finished "James" yesterday, if we really knew each other, I might try to talk to him about it, but probably not in line so I am That Kind Of White Chick.)
The womanhood home game is not as consoling as it used to be, but the books do look, well, maybe not *fun*, because one is explicitly about carrying on after someone dies, but they seem like decent ways to spend time.(I miss fun. Anyone else? I hardly knew it, but I thought I'd get a chance one day.)
chicating: I have a new dragon (Default)
really did help me spot some trouble spots so the virtual group is worth it, two sessions in, even if they start late all the time and aren't, like, The Answer or anything like that. (Not that I really thought that would happen, and I'm only aware I have the hope, down deep, because of that little deflation when it doesn't happen. Again.) It would be so *easy* if I could find something that would make me WANT to crank away in this little corner again and I'm trying my hardest to pretend this is true, but, meh.
chicating: I have a new dragon (Default)
Finished "Motherhood in Contemporary Fiction" Zoom class. Decent reading experience, just not, you know, showing a side of me that might blow somebody's mind or something.
Thinking about impossible things because I feel like I have most of my possible ones. Sigh.
chicating: I have a new dragon (Default)
and the country queen's daughter is spun out that her dad's not her dad--probably wrong that I'm thinking I'm not the only one for whom that would make my life make more sense.
chicating: I have a new dragon (Default)
to write every day for the rest of October(should get me to my habit GYWO goals, if I get it.)
chicating: I have a new dragon (Default)
(in my next life, I'm signing up with the hedonists, I swear--a writing exercise)
Theme: a forbidden object.Read more... )
chicating: I have a new dragon (Default)
The call that I can't stop thinking about from the weekend's calls was not a success. But I'm not thinking about it to beat myself up or to reflect on myself as sort of a magnet for weirdness or anything. I sort of expected that I wouldn't get anywhere with this woman--she sort of told me as much, right? I don't love that, but with a lot of my lists a certain amount of "Throw The Bums Out(Or maybe, since I gravitate toward the insurgent type: Don't Put The Bums In, ha ha!) is part of the deal before real talk begins. We talked for ten minutes...if she were really "fine," as she kept assuring me, that would not happen.(my boss would be very upset that I'm not imagining creating a comrade-for-life in any of these moments, but though I've witnessed calls that worked that well, it kind of hasn't happened to me, personally. Even my friendly people are just, like, "Cool! Good luck!" And that's good enough.Some girls just get it quick and dirty.) K. told me she was fine, didn't look to the government to solve her problems and that maybe closing the border was a good idea. She also told me she might have to move because she couldn't afford things, and her kids didn't have summer jobs.
I do think governments should be there to help people with their problems and I did push back on the border thing a little, because I think it's racist.On one hand, I think it's cool that women take pride in being independent, maybe ironically more so because I usually can't do it. But I had time to wonder, or indeed affirm, that K. was using stigma to keep boning herself. Although I really do know that it's not "just fill out a simple form" easy, but I believe it could and should be.
chicating: I have a new dragon (Default)
when I chose my wheelchairs as an Object to write about.(There was a time when I'd never do that, btw.)Read more... )
chicating: I have a new dragon (Default)
for a disability and storytelling fellowship. But I'm not gonna do it, because they need everything, like, now, at this point, and because I think the margins I sit on are a bit neater than what they intended--sometimes it really does confuse and hurt me that there does not appear to be a space that is truly mine on this planet that is not a blogging box, but, like, be happy, secure and assertive, right? #Ladyboss. Even special stuff either tells me I'm too special or not special enough.
This, quite frankly, is a head-fuck that I'm tired of being upset by, but I think I'm over it and there it is again! I wish we had disability community that didn't feel like it was on a point system or that I had to collect enough crip skee-ball tickets.
But even though this is not 'my shot", it felt good to imagine doing things in the future again that are not waiting out Medicaid or making phone calls to human cardboard cutout Mark Kelly. I've decided that the next thing that comes along that is even kind of close to the battered old mental building that somebody might call my wheelhouse and doesn't involve my having a lot of extra cash, I'll apply and sort out what happens from there.(And then, probably have some face-plant to write about, because to tell you the truth, I don't feel like somebody who gets what she goes after anymore, now that my Advanced Placement test scores have gotten all moldy. But the glimpse of agency and motion felt good.
my life kind of works when it fits around somebody else's life. Which is about as thrilling as it sounds, as much as I'd love to cut to the part everyone wants and say It Turned Out Okay. But I can't yet.
chicating: I have a new dragon (Default)
Or, well, she seems like a nice person, I'm a few degrees from Anne Lamott, probably.But we haven't met.
But, my god, could she get over her hair and its texture already...it's *HAIR*--part of me wants to write her back and say "Get a detangler and a life,"Although, okay, I went to state college, not...terribly successfully, but I still think(hope at this point, really) that it's a physical manifestation of ways that she felt/feels like a weirdo. But, like, what would she say if she were broken for real? But then, I've probably done the same thing with my wheelchair. other disabled people tend not to like me.
chicating: I have a new dragon (Default)
allow me to share a "Merry Month of Masturbation" snippet that has enjoyed a strange(Because it's not May, when MMOM revives) new life this summer.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/1562114
chicating: I have a new dragon (Default)
but sort of decided not to revisit Friday. Like, at all.(my digestive system made my life tough for days last week, I'll just say that. A certain amount of...frankly, freaking out in other direction is not fully unusual, but since the thyroid thing, it's been more extreme. Not loving it.
-people are finding my MTM fanfic that I wrote years ago, for some reason. Nice compliment.
Had an editorial consultation today...had some good thoughts about my coronavirus story.
-
chicating: I have a new dragon (Default)
(although part of me does wish that I'd really been the seasoned activist my boss had expected me to be at the beginning of all this...I admit that.) I told some tales about stuff I'd been a part of--I didn't lie--but my part was small, and he thought it wasn't.(Even scaling back with PDA, they trust me more than the CIL *ever* did, which is its own tragic statement, when you think about it, considering that Empowering Disabled People didn't even mean sending stuff out with my name on it.)
And the person he describes as the "head" really did head it up, handling the eleven million annoying committee details in ways that would...probably depict minor nightmares for me if I attempted them(and it hurts that more of my disabled friends did not think of me as a true disabled friend) But this isn't a "show up and get your picture taken' kind of deal at all. She does the work I'm glad I'm not doing.
But it still hurts that it was gonna be "mine" and now? It really isn't.(Well, I get the same credit your parents give out when they're, like, "You were just the antic gleam in my eye when that happened."
"Muse" would be hard to put on my resume, if it ever mattered what I put on my resume.
I hate when I'm petty like that.
chicating: I have a new dragon (Default)
his week's questions were suggested by [livejournal.com profile] bindyree.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1 . . .

5. Name five favorite movies. Say Anything, Grosse Pointe Blank, Goodfellas(Yes, love contemplating murder-for-hire) The Ref...maybe "The Devil Wears Prada.

4. Name four areas of interest you became interested in after you were done with your formal education.
politics, labor organizing. politics of poverty, maybe a little economics

3. Name three things you would change about this world. more wheelchair access, more joy and fun, less climate crisis.

2. Name two of your favorite childhood toys.My stuffed unicorns and my etch-a-sketch

1. Name one person you could be handcuffed to for a full day.[personal profile] karlht

Copy and paste to your own journal, then reply to this post with a link to your answers. If your journal is private or friends-only, you can post your full answers in the comments below.
chicating: I have a new dragon (Default)
https://19thnews.org/2025/07/arizona-primary-election-grijalva-foxx/
(Not that the credit is mine, though I put in a few hours on this this month, and if she lost, I'd feel like some of the failure is mine, so, may as well take a little credit, too. It's good for Dan and Jenise and them.
chicating: I have a new dragon (Default)
(at some point, have gotten away from my journal apart from this and the writing-goals things...)
This week's questions were suggested by [livejournal.com profile] silent_r_infork.

1. What was the most sick that you've ever been? When I was eleven, I had roseola, which is usually a disease for very small children(Not sure how I got it) that comes with spots and high fever. When I was twelve, I got chickenpox, which was exceedingly itchy and long-lasting at about two weeks. I was stupid and once ate a whole package of Oreos(Which I didn't even really want, as such...just wanted to throw caution to the wind or something, and it bit me on my bony disabled ass, like, instantly.) never have felt the same about oreos, but I feel worse that I ruined them for my mother, who cleaned up.

2. What disease are you afraid of getting?COVID, esp. long-form, dementia

3. Are you a big baby when it comes to taking medicine/shots for your illnesses? kind of. really don't like.

4. Is going to the doctor really THAT bad? Mostly, I don't like them. I had one in high school, though, that I got a crush on and was really glad I saw him for muscle pain, instead of something gross.

5. Would you have the flu twice a month if you were paid $1,000 for having it? Nothing with puking or diarrhea. I guess I'd be stuffed-up if someone paid, somehow, but I'd want some money up-front--time is, like, the one thing you can't replace.

Copy and paste to your own journal, then reply to this post with a link to your answers. If your journal is private or friends-only, you can post your full answers in the comments below.

If you'd like to suggest questions for a future Friday Five, then do so on DreamWidth or LiveJournal. Old sets that were used have been deleted, so we encourage you to suggest some more!
chicating: I have a new dragon (Default)
angry and cheated, like, always.(THere is plenty of reason, but I did always hope to get more from life, before it was all over.)
chicating: I have a new dragon (Default)
. If you were a fruit, which would you be and why? When I'm sad about my life, which is often these days, I think I might be the one leftover banana that everyone has and doesn't eat.At my best, maybe a tangerine, because they are balanced between sweet and tart like me. I also eat them all the time.

2. If you wake up and smell smoke, and you have to get everybody (pets included) out of the house safely, but you have time to grab one item, what would you grab? I have an autographed copy of "The Corner" that I used to touch for writer's inspiration until I met David Simon virtually and felt like that might be odd.(I would have hated for a superstition to get back to him, for instance.)

3. If you were stuck on an island, who would be the one person you would want with you and why? I'm disabled...I think I need two. To that end, I nominate my mama and [personal profile] karlht

4. If you could change one thing about your physical appearance, what would it be? Hate to play into a cliche, and I wish I could be one of those proud, defiant "wouldn't change a THING!1" crips, but I think I've gotten all I can out of The Wheelchair Experience. Proud tradition or not, sometimes I wanna drop it like a hot rock and have all the cheap sex I should have had in my twenties. But I've always been such a Grindstone Gal, I bet I'd make a million dollars and be like "But this is supposed to be the *fun* version!"

5. If you could spend the day with one famous person, dead or alive, who would you choose?Maybe I'd like to hang out with Matthew Perry and make *him* laugh for once. Maybe I'd invite [personal profile] zmayhem too. We were both fans and she died about the same time...it's a Thing. Like gum, it would be perfection!

Copy and paste to your own journal, then reply to this post with a link to your answers. If your journal is private or friends-only, you can post your full answers in the comments below.

If you'd like to suggest questions for a future Friday Five, then do so on DreamWidth or LiveJournal. Old sets that were used have been deleted, so we encourage you to suggest some more!

Add Memory
chicating: I have a new dragon (Default)
I think I am kind of like The Bear.(Although I don't think I ever reached his dizzying earlier heights.)
But I need to find my writing "Beef sandwich"

April 2026

S M T W T F S
    1234
5678 9 1011
12131415161718
19202122232425
2627282930  

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Apr. 12th, 2026 07:31 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios