chicating

(Here in Phoenix, not on Dreamwidth) but I went ahead and sent the op-ed to the newspaper. Which they will probably ignore because "I've lived here my whole life and I'm like a disease,"(I'm quoting "Sixteen Candles" here--people do kind of let fly about what's wrong with me in general, but nobody really said that!)
I wonder if it would be worse knowing there is somewhere I *could* fit, but that it would be really hard for me to ever get there. OR that I have given life so much side-eye over the years that I'm just...permanently outside and there is no real place that is, you know, *my place.* People don't like me here unless they've got thankless volunteer commitments to hand out.(I do try to help, but I can't always keep up, and anyway, that's not what they meant on Law and Order when they talked about Ties To The Community, I don't think.)

Even the whole "online tribe" thing feels like it's breaking down a bit. Which is probably inevitable, given that one doesn't stay a wide-eyed rookie who can't believe her luck forever(and my whole twitter list broke up... I still think I'm glad I didn't hobble over to bluesky and start being the same fool twice(probably three times, really) by reconstructing something that can't be rebuilt.

Because I'm, you know, slow to adopt, a lot of what I'm still doing on streaming is catching up with what excited my friends two or three years ago. THat's okay, I've had stuff to do, and if my attendants weren't generous, I'm not sure I'd have ever seen some of these things anyway. Last night, I finish a movie and finally find one of the more buzzworthy and award-winning offeringsthat recently ceased production and cried about it on all the magazine shows and yada, yada. So, like, I missed pretending that I and my friends in different states are hanging out on Saturday night with Mrs. Maisel in real time or whatever--that whole "Under the same big sky" Fievel thing, which binging makes moot anyway, I suppose, but, whatever, at least maybe I get to see all that I missed. Right?Ep one, scene one, potentially such a thrill. Except one of the hugest companies in the fucking universe only has space or time or...whatever for Seasons 3 through 5. And it's fucking *theirs*I'm a big grown-up lady and a storyteller myself. Like, I'll figure it out, right? Maybe even imagine something as good or better to fill in the gap. (Or they put it back one day...who knows?) But even without writing for them, I think it's disrespectful that these places treat "content" like leftovers that get pushed to the back of the fridge. My TV dream wasn't gonna come true anyway I suppose, but here's another place where, even if it had gotten closer, it still wouldn't have, anyway.(So, aren't I lucky? Nope,still can't make that one fly--worth a shot, though.)

and writing here every day in 26.
maybe weekly's better.There are def many days that aren't worth documenting.

(a tiny offering for my goals against self-denial and *for* trying new things.)Even though I'm hoping my next attempts are more exciting, every little bit helps.
Overall, I've undervalued the humble pear.

Not exactly the way I might have pictured, obvs, but the ornaments that I gave Mom last year look pretty good.

What's your favourite TV network? Over the years, I've liked a few...now it seems like nobody has a unique style anymore.

2. If you could create your own channel, what would it be? arts, culture, some left-wing politics, maybe I'd bring the dramedy back...I still like them-- maybe I'm not alone!

3. What TV show did you watch as a child, that you wish they would bring back?Not that I really want *actual MASH* back, though America had lots of feelings about its involvement in KoreaitNam, but I would like to see a show with as varied an emotional template and room for character growth as MASH. Something funny, but less like "Well, they loved that, so let's do it twenty more times," Something that trusts us to figure stuff out a few times(Anti-war messaging and Very Special Episodes optional.)

4. What show have you always hated, and wonder why they ever made such a dumb show? I grew up in the 1980s, which gave me an unmatched opportunity to see the good, really bad, and indifferent from, practically the beginning of the form(thanks to cable-- I'm not a spirit that sits around watching TV or anything...years ago, I might have had more passion about that. But I will say, we might not be here now without "The Apprentice." #DeportMarkBurnett(I've had a lot of streaming access this year, for the first time, and I'm not sure if it makes me feel better or worse how hard it can be to tell "cult favorite" and "Swing and a miss," apart.

5. What TV show's seasons would you buy on DVD? I would have loved it if the reason I got such a great price on West Wing DVDs wasn't because Amazon either let half of them get scratched up or knew they would be. Maybe I should have gotten a *really* great "Take Your Chances" price. Anyway, never finished that rewatch...

to pluck up my sagging self worth-- NOT!
(Hope it's no big deal, but sometimes it takes a while to get things in shape again.

but I'm not overburdened with good ones. Sometimes, I wish life were a bit more like streaming so that I could catch up with things I missed. But I found some
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_Potential(High Potential,I missed.)
It's a good show and I love how Kaitlin dresses, even if I don't think I can carry it off

It was nice, but somehow not what I was looking for, either. Worth a shot, though--writers have to expand our wheelhouses for what we read and I read this Argentinian short story collection earlier this year. I did get a story idea out of it I guess. But I wish there were something out there that would use...well, maybe All of My Things is dramatic, but maybe More of My Things makes sense.
Some part of me always feels as if it twiddles its thumbs.

and therefore not what the doctor(or Dan Savage, for instance) might have ordered--me over a notebook is novel like a thing that is not, clearly, no *transgressions* there, but the haunted house fiction class was a little bit better last night...

It would be a little better to watch us form into a group if there were more than two more sessions. Not that I exactly want to ponder a genre I don't really have a feel for every Monday night forever and ever, amen. But I am taking a shot and even living with not being the star in a way my fifteen-year-old self might not believe, so that is a tiny shoot of growth, even if it might not be worth the price of this thing.(Maybe the plot bunny about a haunted mall might be if I wrote it, not sure if I will. It's often hard to read a lot and write a lot at the same time, but I jotted thoughts down anyway.
Probably not taking Anne Elliot's class next month, as it is more expensive and I think I need to give extra Zoom a rest after this. But I will e-mail her if I ever get a pub date for Wedded Twist, short version. She's a great instructor/workshop leader and took a flattering interest.

(Nice smart people, nobody I even imagined sending a flirty comment to at a moment when I might imagine chemistry with damn near anybody...but it's probably okay because the closest person is in L.A. or Orange County or something and even if he were pine-worthy,(Nope, gay in a way that's easy to spot. Smart, though. Thorough reader in a way I've never quite mastered.) I think I have "Long-Distance Yearnings" fully covered anyway.