If I'm so great, say Yes!

[chicating]

Another happy-talk rejection, complete with added feedback I paid for because I'm a masochist. This was a poem, so actually, rewrites wouldn't(couldn't?) be that extensive, but I don't know how much I care that this is the one, anyway. Maybe I should keep poetry as a private pursuit. I've never been a craftswoman, exactly, the kind of writer who's all "They changed a comma and DESTROYED my whole thought." which is probably good as I don't get treated reverently, even when I succeed, but maybe that has made me, if not lazy, a bit half-assed. Maybe I really should drill down and polish that little fucker(starting with the right attitude often helps, ha ha) till it gleams. And I know these places are halfway hoping for "I'll show them!1" #ShePersisted but sometimes I think I used all that that I will ever have, like, getting out of high school, or at most on The Degree That Never Mattered.

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I tried the "treat" thing to deal with rejection...

[chicating]

but there aren't a lot of things that are "work for it," attainable in my orbit right now. It's either little stuff that I try to just have because I used to be a big self-denier and I'm trying to be over that, or Big Impossible Dreams that don't care that I let Submittable punch me 200 times.(Also, I started having thoughts like "Maybe if I hit 5,000, I should kill myself." but rather than try to resolve the whole thing, it seemed that the simplest healthy thing I could do is decide I'm like my cat and Not Motivated By Treats.