What does it mean that I tell, well, crip stories...

[chicating]

in mixed company now. Maybe it is a little acceptance, but after all the hype about what that feels like, maybe I did think the relief would feel bigger, or that I might be thinking "Wow, all that misery helped make me the awesome boss Bitch that wrote this," and while, for today, I'm well, I'm not *there* yet, for sure. (Honestly, that might never happen. Which is sad. Sometimes I've been waiting--not all my fault--some of what I learned at the CIL kind of primed me to do that. Some people's Disability Experience is so much better than mine, next time my soul should switch travel agents!) But it's still nice to feel like a whole instead of two messed-up halves that don't communicate.